Rebekah Honeycutt

Light and Love be with you!

Relationships and Life

on June 22, 2012

I decided I wanted to write about relationships today. Here is what I believe, and I’d love to hear others thoughts:

Overall, I believe that everything happens for a reason. I think that people come into our lives to teach us more about ourselves.

Thinking back to my first “puppy love” reminds me of a time when I thought Checkers’ french fries, Mortal Kombat, and riding bikes with friends was the most important things in the world.

I have definitely evolved from those thoughts. Then I remember my first relationship where I was presented with my first kiss. This was the time in life where boys made the world go around.

Then I graduated to High School, and realized boys had also evolved into something, shall we say, less charming, and more direct in what they wanted from a girl. I honestly wasn’t all that interested in giving them that one.

During High School, I met my husband to be. I decided marriage 6 days after graduation from HS was the best idea ever. He made me feel alive, and I thought I was ready to be an adult. Seventeen year olds getting married are a common occurrence, and having children was the next step.

Nothing in school prepares you for the real world. Nothing anyone can say prepares you for the trials you will have to make it through. The only thing that prepares you is yourself. You can decide that ‘this is too tough for me, I give up’. You can decide that ‘this is the worst time in my life so far, but I’m looking for the rainbow at the end of the rain.’ Your life is based on your decisions.

We created life from love, and when this happened, my world changed tremendously. I didn’t care about what I was wearing, or how the outside world perceived me anymore. I only cared what those sleepy blue eyes saw in me. This was the beginning of looking at life through different eyes.

Life continued on to result in divorce. Two young people that loved each other completely had changed to two slightly older young people, who had grown apart. It was a very difficult time for all involved and finally resulted in a deal to get along.

Now, I have to say that my marriage taught me the most about myself thus far. Living with someone day in and day out, that you are the complete opposite of, tends to teach you a few things.

My life has since then, revolved around toys, schools, cartoons, books, and lullabies. Being a single independent mother is extremely hard. I began respecting my mother for her status as the same.

Each person that I have dated since my divorce has taught me something further about what I can handle in a relationship, and what I can’t. I know I can’t handle someone mis-treating my child, I know that I deserve better than someone who doesn’t give emotional support. I realized that I love coming home to a hug and a kiss. I realized that people aren’t always who they say they are. More importantly, I began to figure out who I wanted to be, and who I wanted my son to see me become.

Each person that has come into my life is very special to me. Yes, some may have hurt me, shattered my dreams, made me feel insignificant, but I made it through those things. I met others who gave me hope, shared my life goals, made me feel spectacular about the person that I am. Without the negatives, how would you know what the positives are?

Looking back at those days when jumping off a flag to enter a castle was the triumphant moment in my life to the day my son clapped the loudest for me getting on the dean’s list in college; I know a lot about me has changed. I also know there is a lot of change to come. The people I have met and will meet will continue to show me things I have never thought about, to hear stories I never thought were possible, and to show me that some dreams do come true.

Yes, heartbreak happens, and it sucks. Try to the find the positives in those negative events. Look deep into yourself and see what has changed within you. When you find them, decide if that is a change you want to keep, or if it can be a learning tool for who you want to become.  Surround yourself with people you respect, people you would like to be similar to.

Try your best to let go of all the pain, anger, and despair that others have made you feel.

Love yourself because until you know and love the person you are, how can anyone else?

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4 responses to “Relationships and Life

  1. julieisrael says:

    Wonderful post. I particularly admire your attitude toward mistakes and negatives– how there is always something to learn, something positive to be gained. I can certainly see that you’ve grown a lot as a person from your relationship experiences.

    I agree with your last sentiment the most, though. I almost think that everyone should spend some serious time post college (or post high school, at least) experiencing the real world and finding / making themselves as a person before settling down. It is in those independent adult experiences that we really come into who we are and learn to love that person– and as you say, if you don’t love yourself (and aren’t happy on your own), how can you expect anyone else to love you (or a relationship to be satisfying)?

    • kyelena2 says:

      Thank you for your thoughts and compliment. I agree that college is an amazing adventure everyone should have. I never had the experience of a college dorm, which I’m sure would have been an interesting story to tell.

  2. its funny how you look at yourself through the years in your life and see the changes. people life here is short and just because you have been granted the chance to live thus far doesnt mean you have a thousand forevers. i was married for twenty-four years and i was 16 when i got married. you do not want to stay the same person but you do need to grow instead of settling for the old self. some handle life different and dont have a clue…pray for them….at the end of it all the only person staring back at you in the mirror is you. what you do with the life and people he put in it is up to you and that person in the mirror. spouses come and go and your kids leave as they grow. the only person who will never leave you is yourself. and you live life with the decisions you make. as for you personally, i admire you. i know its been hard, your will to overcome has been stronger than the urge to give up….teach this to your children. even though youve known heartbreak, youre still loving caring and considerate. life is a hand of poker you make the best hand out of the cards you are delt. and you becca beat four of the other kind!!!!

    • kyelena2 says:

      Lovely words of wisdom! You are a wonderful woman that I am proud to know! Thank you for all of your support. You and your family mean so much to me!

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