Rebekah Honeycutt

Light and Love be with you!

Dating: Locations and Activities

My first thought on this was I’m not every girl, so maybe what I would like to do wouldn’t be so enticing to another female. My second thought was guys could use some ideas from a female perspective. Then, my third thought was to be fair; women sometimes decide what to do on a date also.

Next, I decided to ask some of the males that I work with for their opinions of what to do on a first date. It was a very interesting conversation, and it lasted quite a while. I realized that most gentlemen are at a loss for ideas when asked on the spot about a dating activity. I also realized that when given time and other people to bounce ideas off of, men become more creative.

Personally, my favorite dates are ones that combines these items: respect, randomness, entertainment, laughter, and information about the other person.  I don’t go for the normal “Dinner and a movie”. To me, that means this guy hasn’t put much thought into wanting to get to know me. I desire a date that is different from any other date I have been on. I don’t want to go to a ritzy restaurant and feel uncomfortable. I don’t want the guy to have to pay outrageous amounts of money to enjoy our time together. So, here are some thoughts of mine, are you ready? J

1. Tourist Attractions: I know when you live in a town for a long time you forget that you have other people that come here as tourists. I’m one of the world’s worst at realizing there are so many things going on behind the scenes that I see daily. Pick up a local newspaper (or google it), look up your county’s (or town’s) website, or the counties close by and find out what’s happening. Each county/town usually has an area for local events. Find something interesting within the text. Maybe there is an art exhibit, a play, a comedian, or a festival. Most of these things just cost the gas to get there, or a small fee, and you can leave at any time to find something else to do.

 2. Fantastic Scenery: Here in the mountains we have a major tourist attraction called “The Blue Ridge Parkway”. If you haven’t been here, you definitely want to see this! Guys, pick up your lady, and take her to pick out some fresh fruits from your local grocery store. Grab a bottle of sparkling grape juice, or some other non-alcoholic refreshment (no drinking and driving please), and then head to a beautiful place you can relax and sit. If you live near a river, or creek, or beach, try out these places. (Forewarning- eat the fruit away from the beach… it doesn’t taste so great when your crunching sand.)

3. Local Park: Find a place where you can walk and talk. A park is the perfect place. There are usually a few people around, so you can see how the other person reacts to strangers. (This is important to me; it tells me if they are polite to others, timid, or outgoing.) If you have an outgoing personality with you, try out the swings, monkey bars, or go down a slide. In my opinion, this is one of those times to find that childish center of you and remind the other person they have it to.

4. Scavenger Hunt: This just sounds like fun to me. Make a list of some random objects to find while walking through your downtown area. This list should include things such as the color orange, a red button, the number 8, etc. It adds creativity to the date and allows you to further enjoy what the town has to offer. You could even add something that caters to the other person’s interests if you know them beforehand such as buildings, spas, historical landmarks.

  1.  5. Art: Purchase a sketch book and some colored pencils or paint/paintbrushes. Walk around town and attempt to paint some of the things you see. Ideas could include a statue, a tree, or a building. If you are a decent artist, you could always try drawing each other. (I am a horrible artist, but I had a blast failing at drawing with my date) Plus, if you two decide to continue dating, you have a wonderful memento to look back at and enjoy.

 

6. Meal Time: Make a homemade breakfast, lunch or dinner. It’s more enjoyable for two people to make a meal together then to go out to a fancy restaurant. Have fun with it. If you have the meal already planned, then ask them to assist you with a part of creating it (such as squeezing the lemons to make lemonade or stirring an item while you chop the veggies.) This activity allows you to talk with each other, and see how the other person feels in the kitchen.

7. Travel Games: If you decide to go to the next town over to do an activity, you may want some conversation topics or games to play while you drive. You can find things like this by googling them or by stopping at a store like Wal-Mart. This will give the passenger something to do with their hands and a way to occupy their brain. This also allows you to enjoy each other’s company with a twist. There are a lot of “I Spy”-type games, and Alphabet games. One of my favorites is finding words that begin with a letter; you start at A and work your way to Z. (You can use License Plates for the toughies)

I’m sure I can come up with a lot more ideas in the future if you are interested in more. I will return now to the Dinner and a Movie cliché.

Movies: Now, I’m not putting the idea of going out to a movie down as horrible, but I am making a stance that you don’t have the opportunity to get to know each other. Also, I really don’t think of a movie theater as romantic… the floors are sticky, popcorn gets stuck in your teeth, and there are some funny smells that are in those places sometimes.

Restaurants: Going to out for dinner is also a good way to get away from the house if you have roommates, or are not okay with the other person knowing where you live. So I’m not saying don’t go out to eat, but choose wisely. Most people I talk to say an Italian place, a Steak house, or a Japanese steak house where they cook in front of you are a great start.

This is a starter list. Take what you want, leave what you don’t, and try to create your own unique night for the lady or gentleman you will be dating. Remember; don’t forget to have a plan B in case something you choose isn’t what you thought it would be.

I’d love to hear some of your thoughts/ideas. Leave them in the comments area below, Thanks!

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Dating: Doors and Cars

I have talked with multiple younger and older girls alike that don’t understand the reasoning behind the rule of opening doors when on a date. So, today’s post is about the etiquette of dating and cars.

When you decide that the guy you have met, or known for a while, is acceptable for you to go on a date with; you need to know the rules. The guidelines are as follows:

The gentleman you are going with, let’s call him “Jim”, will come to your front door to pick you up. Jim will have to meet your parents. Jim will have to encounter questioning from said parents. He should also offer the parents his cell phone number.

When you two leave the house, Jim will open the front door to escort you out.

Jim will then open the car door for you to sit in the passenger seat. He will wait until you are settled in to close the door behind you.

You will reach over and open his door from the inside.

Everywhere you go, you will sit patiently and smile sweetly when he comes around the car and opens your door for you to get out. You will also follow the instructions above each time you get into the car.

When the date is at a close, he will walk you to your front door, and then you will wait until he gets back to his car to go inside. (Sometimes, you will wait until you no longer see his car as he drives away.)

Now, I will explain why these things are done.

When Jim comes to the front door to meet the parents, he is displaying that he understands their concerns. He entertains their questions with honest answers because he wants to show that they can trust him with their daughter. He is also presenting himself so that the parents know what he looks like, his name, his phone number, and information about his car just in case anything happens. This helps to ease the parents mind so that you can have a better date.

Next, the reason Jim will open the car door for you is to display a sign of respect. He is telling you through his actions that he is interested in getting to know you, and that he will treat you like you are supposed to be treated- like a Lady.

When you reach over and open his door, this is saying to Jim that you also are interested in getting to know him, and you are showing a sign of respect for him.

When he escorts you to the door, he is making sure that you get home safely. He is also putting himself in front of the parents (who are hiding behind the window) in case he needs to be talked to. (If he brought you home late, etc.)

You are showing him the same concern when you wait until he gets back into his car. The reason you would wait until he is down the road is mostly because you are smitten by him, and you enjoyed your date. (If you didn’t enjoy yourself, go inside when he gets to his car.)

Now, when I explained all of this to my younger sister, I told her “DO NOT get into his car if he doesn’t open your door. Just stand there.”

She will probably kill me for writing about this, but when this happened to her, she stood there like a lady and waited. (I was so proud.) The poor guy was completely lost. He got into his car. She stood beside the passenger door, and looked around at the scenery nonchalantly (like I had advised). He sat there, played with his radio, looked at his phone… then rolled down his window and asked her what was wrong. (WOW, right?) She peered down into his car window, smiled and said, “I am a lady, and you haven’t opened my door.”  He immediately got out and apologized. She decided to give him a second chance, and continued on their date.

By now, you can guess this guy was stuck in the friend zone at the end of this date. She had lots of stories to tell when she got home. I’ve had the same thing happen to me before, but none of them were half as slow to react as that guy.

Now that you know the reasoning, please make sure the guy you are with shows you respect. If not, don’t get into the car. It will only get worse as the night goes on. Just politely explain that you no longer wish to go with him tonight due to his lack of manners. The guy will more than likely apologize for his absence of gentleman-like qualities, and you can decide from there if you want to continue the date. I support whatever decision you come to at that point.

Speaking of gentleman-like qualities, I’ve decided I will also start blogging about how to be a gentleman soon. 

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An Apology for Delay

Hello everyone! I am sending a sincere apology out for the delay in posts. I have worked extensive long hours at work the last few days, and have not been able to write. I will be attempting to put up a post by the end of today. Thank you for your patience.

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How To Be a Lady: Clothing

So, I decided to Google “How to become a Lady” after I wrote my last piece… and I was appalled at some of the things I found. Some sites I found focus completely on fashion and makeup. So, let’s discuss clothing first.

I understand that in the older days, women were only considered ladies if they had money, acted in a certain way, and dressed in a certain manner. In my mind, that is only being perceived as a lady for the people around you. What personality did these women have away from the public eye? Were they happy with her inside and their outside?

When I think of the older days, my thoughts drift to the girl that worked as a servant. Let’s say she was kind-hearted, giving, caring, and understanding. She performed her job daily, no matter her tasks. She studied to increase her intelligence, and she showed pride in herself. She strived to do her best, and presented herself in a respectable manner. Overall, she may not have the best clothes in the room, but, I believe she would be considered a lady.

This leads back to: outward appearance is how others view you. When you wear an outfit, it attracts a certain type of response. You may feel like a lady on the inside, but present yourself in a manner which will make others see you in a different light. In my opinion, yes there are certain ways in which you should dress, but they do not define you as a lady.

To explain the dress comment I would have to present mini-skirts, extremely low cut tops, and shirts with “not-so-nice” comments on them. These can have a negative effect on how you are perceived, depending on how they are presented. I could see wearing a mini-skirt with tights underneath, or a low cut shirt over a tank top for a layering effect. I can’t find a way to present the “not-so-nice” comment shirt without simply leaving it at the store to be bought by someone else.

When wearing the type of attire listed above, you would appeal to a certain type of male. This male would not be the one to open doors, share an intelligent conversation, or lavish you with adoration. He would however, be able to show you a good time, tempt you to do things you may not want to, and give you attention for a short period of time. I can honestly say turning a man’s head as you walk down the street is a fantastic ego boost, but for what reason did he turn around? Was it to see your smile again, or your chest? Which would you prefer?

So, my advice is to wear clothes that are appropriate for your age and that portrays you as you wish to be seen. I prefer clothing that is comfortable, and yet appealing to me. You don’t need to show off “What the good lord gave you” as some people in my life say. I choose jeans and a t-shirt most days. When I want to feel pretty I choose a dressy top, maybe a long denim skirt. As long as the clothing isn’t portraying you in a negative manner, go with it.

Just remember, what you wear isn’t as important as who you are inside. Love you, and choose something that shows you are more than a body to be stared at.

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Becoming A Lady

I have explained my thoughts on becoming and acting like a lady multiple times to young girls I encounter, including my little sisters who have heard this topic more than once.  Being a lady begins from inside of you.

The first step in becoming a lady is to believe in you. Understand that you are a wonderful and unique person. You don’t need to change who you are deep inside. You don’t need to change what you wear or how you place your hair. Do a little soul searching and make a list of all the things that make you who you are. An example may be: I am optimistic, I am energetic, etc. What about your personality makes you a special person to others? Ask your friends or family if you need assistance.

The second step is to show yourself respect. If you want others to value your personality, you have to start from within.  Are you acting in a way that shows you are a respectable young lady? When speaking with others, do you appreciate their thoughts? When thinking about a ‘lady’ you don’t have to be Miss. Prim and Proper, but show yourself the respect you want others to demonstrate.

The third step is look for others that you admire, or believe is a lady. Watch how they act in different situations. Do they just appear to be a lady, or do they show that they place belief and respect in themselves. These are the types of people you should attempt to be around. When you are around someone for long periods of time, you begin acting like them, whether you want to or not. By placing yourself around people you believe to be ladies and gentleman, this will open your world to new views. What do you believe makes a lady?

The fourth step is finding your support network. There are people in your life that believe in you even when you don’t. This is a very important step. Usually with a rebellious teenager, this is one of the hardest steps. The problem they find here is listening to constructive criticism. Find those people that love and adore you, and ask them what they see in you. Ask them to help you see yourself through their eyes. What positive input can they give you? If you are like me, I make lists, so I can go back and review them. Remember, you are asking them for their honest opinion, so be open to the answers you will receive.

The fifth step would be to begin displaying outwardly who you want to be. Try your best to be polite. Show the people around you that you do in fact wish to earn their respect. Demanding respect is not a lady-like quality. It may take some getting used to, and that is perfectly okay. Take your time getting to know who you are, what you want to do, and who you want to become.

I can tell you, as a young teenager, I didn’t want to be a lady. When I thought of a lady, I thought of a snobby-type woman with expensive clothing, and someone who didn’t want to break a nail. I grew up as more of a tom-boy, and I didn’t want the boys to think I needed them for anything, period. When a guy would ask to carry my books in school, my response was, “I have arms.” I didn’t want to be a girl who needed a man to carry her around. I wanted to be strong and independent.

Now that I am older, I look back at all of those thoughts and laugh. The guy wanting to carry my books wasn’t trying to tell me I was weak and helpless, he was trying to show me respect and gain my attention. Boy, did I screw that one up. I also realize now that most of the time, those snobby women with expensive clothes and perfect nails, aren’t really ladies at all. That isn’t my description of a person I would like to be similar to, what about you?

Being a lady is not about being weak, or interdependent on others. To me, a lady is many things wrapped into one. She is kind, caring, considerate, and respectful of others. She is confident in herself, respectful of whom she is, shows pride in herself, and openly displays an attitude of love.  She is accepting of others decisions, and beliefs, and does not concern herself with making others believe what she does. She is self-sufficient but able to ask others for assistance, or include others while working on a task. There are many other items I can add to this list, but I wanted to share a few.

So, to recap, the important steps in becoming a lady are: Believe in yourself, Respect who you are, analyze why you respect others, Find your support network, and lastly, begin your transformation.

It may seem like becoming a lady is changing who you are. It’s not about changing you; it’s about enhancing those wonderful aspects of yourself to become the lady you wish to be. It’s about finding the real you that is hidden under many layers of disappointment, heart-ache, and disrespect.

Once you find the lady within you, you won’t want to let her go. She is the part of you that places all of your best qualities on the front line. She is the part of you that gets you through the heart-ache, disappointments, and harsh words others say. Find her, and you will benefit greatly.

Of course, if you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me or leave a comment. I would love to assist you in your quest. Kyelena2@yahoo.com

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A Short Story: An Evening in Our Park

He was bowing on one knee, staring into my eyes. I couldn’t imagine a better feeling. My mind was filled with many thoughts; my eyes were filled with tears.

He smiled as he lifted me from my bed and cradled me in his arms. His bare chest was hot against my skin. He kissed me gently as he then lowered me into the chair.

A moan escaped my mouth as a chill swept through my body; the pain of movement is unbearable. I saw the sorrow in his eyes that he tried to hide so gracefully. He placed the pink blanket across my lap, and then moved the hair from my eyes.

He took my left hand as I drove with my right; I glided as he walked. We grinned at the birds fighting for water in the fountain. We found beauty within the scene. He kicked rocks off the path as he sang his song he made for me.

We arrived at our tree, a simple yet gorgeous weeping willow. He once again bowed to one knee and looked longingly into my eyes. This is the man I chose, the man who chose me.

He lifted my weak body and brought me close to him again. The safety of his arms and the security in his voice; these are the things I would miss the most. His smile was bright and his lips leaned closer to my ear.

“You are the one I have waited for,

You are the one I adore.

Without you my life will be poor,

Until I am with you once more.”

Tears began to flood our eyes as he sat on our bench. He held me like a child, one he had protected for many years. The pain was agonizing as it spread through my heaving chest. I couldn’t stop the sobs but I didn’t care, I was sharing this time with him.

I took in his scent, and blinked to clear my eyes. I wanted to see him tell a story. This bench was named the reminiscing seat; the place for discussing our memories.

“I recall the first time I saw you. You were sitting with Evelyn. She became distracted by a boy and in that moment you looked up. Your alluring eyes locked with mine. The blue in your eyes seemed to swirl and I was hooked. Do you remember what I said?”

He smiled as he looked into my eyes. I nodded my head, I wanted to answer him, but he understood I could not.

“Of course you do. You will never let me forget.” He laughed heartily like there was no weight on his shoulders. “I said… Umm. Umm. You are wow.” I nodded once more and felt the smile spread on my face.

“And Darling, you are still wow!” His lips pressed against my temple. I could see the yearning in his eyes when he opened them once more. He wanted me more today than ever before.

I placed my hands on his cheeks and let our eyes connect. The desire for one last kiss overwhelmed me. I fumbled with my oxygen mask, and finally slid it down.

“Honey, no, you can’t,” he started as my lips pressed passionately to his.

This kiss was simple but powerful, it took over all of my senses. My eyes felt tired, by body began to tremble, but I couldn’t let this moment pass. My breath became shallow, but I held my lips firmly against his. I would not let the cancer keep me from him.

We both knew it was my time. His tears slid onto my lips. I mouthed the words, I adore you, as my last breath came and went.

-Rebekah Honeycutt 06/10/12

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A Thought: Choices and Regrets

I do not believe in regrets.

I do not believe in mistakes.

In my life, I have made many decisions. Some turned out to be great decisions with fantastic outcomes. Some have been bad decisions with outcomes I wouldn’t want to repeat. The important thing about these results is each of them molded me into the person I am today.

Yes, I have done things I am not exactly proud of. If I hadn’t done them, would I know not to do it again?

In reverse, I have taken part in things I found rewarding. If I hadn’t, would I want to do them again?

I have been asked multiple times if there was a time machine and I could go back and change my life, would I? My answer remains as no. I wouldn’t want to change a thing. Even if I could take the imaginary machine back into my previous paths and attempt to change something, that stubborn girl back then would somehow change it back.

I know she would because I have always felt that my life was in my own hands. If I wanted something, I worked persistently until I achieved it. Even when there were so many signs telling me to turn around, I continued forward. How would I know what was at the end of that road unless I walked it?

I believe in choices.

I believe in me.

Everyone makes them; from the time you wake up to the time you decide to go to sleep. Your life is filled with them, and who you are now is created by the consequences.

If you fear the outcome of a decision, and you don’t make the choice one way or another, are you truly living your life?

We only have one life to live. My advice is:

Make it the life you want it to be. Accept that there are consequences to every decision and don’t put yourself down for the choices you have made. Don’t let the fear of an outcome rule over you. Believe in yourself. Appreciate the paths you have chosen, and continue down the next one.

No matter what you may have heard, you have the control. The ball is always in your court.

What are you going to do with it?

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Pride and Honor

When I was a little girl growing up, my family was always practicing for and competing in ‘Bible Competitions’. Competing was a way of life for me. I wanted to do my best and make my family proud.

I was raised very strict Baptist, and the competitions began when I was in first grade. I had to memorize scriptures and passages found in the bible, and quote them aloud. In 4th through 6th grade I had to memorize where words or names were found within the bible and be the first to find it and step forward.

I was practicing one night with three other girls for ‘Tic-Tac-Toe’ (which was 7th through 9th grade). My Grandfather passed away that night, and I never practiced again. I knew he would have wanted me to continue, but I couldn’t. I felt like he was the only reason I was doing them in the first place, and without him, why continue?

In addition to your regular competition, you could also compete in different areas: Singing, Art, etc. One of the many areas was called ‘Declarations’. This is where you would stand in front of the crowd and make a speech. All of my family members who competed in this before me used the same poem. When it was my turn, I felt so much pride that it was my turn. Of course, as a little girl, I didn’t truly understand exactly what the speech was about. This poem moved me when I read it the first time, and to this day, it has the same effect.

Today being independence day, it was floating through my mind, and I wanted to share it with you.

A VISITOR FROM THE PAST 
by Thelen Paulk

I had a dream the other night, I didn’t understand.
A figure walking through the mist, with flintlock in his hand.
His clothes were torn and dirty, as he stood there by the bed,
He took off his three-cornered hat, and speaking low, he said:

“We fought a revolution, to secure our liberty.
We wrote the Constitution, as a shield from tyranny,
For future generations, this legacy we gave,
In this, the land of the free and the home of the brave.”

“The freedom we secured for you, we hoped you’d always keep.
But tyrants labored endlessly, while your parents were asleep.
Your freedom gone, your courage lost, you’re no more
than a slave,
In this, the land of the free and the home of the brave.”

“You buy permits to travel, and permits to own a gun,
Permits to start a business, or to build a place for one.
On land that you believe you own, you pay a yearly rent,
Although you have no voice in choosing how the money’s spent.”

“Your children must attend a school that doesn’t educate.
Your Christian values can’t be taught, according to the state.
You read about the current news, in a regulated press.
You pay a tax you do not owe, to please the I.R.S.”

“Your money is no longer made of silver or of gold.
You trade your wealth for paper, so your life can be controlled.
You pay for crimes that make our nation turn from God in shame,
You’ve taken Satan’s number, as you’ve traded in your name.”

“You’ve given government control to those who do you harm,
So they can padlock churches, and steal the family farm,
And keep the country deep in debt, put men of God in jail,
Harass your fellow countrymen, while corrupted courts prevail.”

“Your public servants don’t uphold the solemn oath they’ve sworn.
Your daughters visit doctors so their children won’t be born.
Your leaders ship artillery and guns to foreign shores,
And send your sons to slaughter, fighting other people’s wars.”

“Can you regain freedom for which we fought and died?
Or don’t you have the courage or the faith to stand with pride?
Are there no more values for which you’ll fight to save?
Or do you wish your children to live in fear and be a slave?”

“Sons of the Republic, arise and take a stand!
Defend the Constitution, the Supreme Law of the Land!
Preserve our great republic and each God-given right,
And pray to God to keep the torch of freedom burning bright!”

As I awoke he vanished, in the mist from which he came.
His words were true, we are not free. We have ourselves to blame.
For even now as tyrants trample each God-given right,
We only watch and tremble, too afraid to stand and fight.

If he stood by your bedside, in a dream while you’re asleep,
And wondered what remains of our rights he fought to keep,
What would be your answer, if he called out from the grave?
Is this still the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave?

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Time and Waking Up

When arriving somewhere, I do believe, you should arrive at least twenty minutes before the allotted time. My reasoning is to be able to use the restroom, make sure you put your clothing on the right way, and clarify that you are overly presentable.

Now, in regard to the previous statement, I am usually way too early or late. There is no happy ‘On Time’ for me. I guess I should mention that it’s not usually a fashionably late either… J

I have a dance I do every morning, not a typical dance. This one requires me to set my alarm thirty minutes before time to get up. I wobble sleepily around the bedroom so I can hit the snooze button. I do this about four times each morning, until I have to get dressed and pretty. Then I dance to the kitchen to make coffee in between.

I know many people that will get up right away, fix some breakfast and coffee, get dressed and head to work. I simply cannot have such a routine in the morning.

What is your routine?

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Bought a Car!

Well, I bought a new car, Suzuki SX4. It’s so little and cute! Then my friend, his daughter, my son and I made Silly Putty, created sand art, made sun catchers, and ate brownies. It was like a mini-summer camp day. Oh, I almost forgot, I painted their faces then we went swimming. So, needless to say, I didn’t have time to write a post. Here is my Orange Cricket:

The Orange Cricket

2009 Suzuki SX4

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