Rebekah Honeycutt

Light and Love be with you!

A Thought: Parenting, Time and Tears

on September 4, 2012


I’m writing today for more of a benefit to myself,

to rearrange the thoughts that are tormenting my mind today.

With going back to school and actually having to attend the classroom setting, more time is being taking away from my son, especially now that summer is over and he is also in school.

I’m trying my best to rearrange my schedule so that I can make the most of our time together. It’s very difficult with a split family schedule. Let me explain, his father and I have a weekly schedule. We swap him to the next parent on Fridays, unless I’m working that day, then it moves to Saturdays.

With me being in a college 1.5 hours away, I pick him up from his school and we hang out for about two hours on Monday and Wednesday of my week. I then take him to his Step-mother and his little brother and head off to class. I absolutely adore them both, so that doesn’t create an issue.

It’s the time available that is the issue at the moment. I wish I could spend every moment with him, even when he is driving me insane. *smiles*

When he is sleeping when I get home, there is a reassuring feeling that washes through my body. I can see him- I know that he is safe, and I feel less stress from that alone.

The last few weeks have been a crazy time for me, and I try not to let it dictate my life. Today, on the other hand, it came to a boil. The tears just keep falling and I can’t make them stop for very long.

I just talked with my son, who had a fantastic day at school, and who makes me laugh with such ease. Of course, I had to put on a happy voice, as we parents do, so that he didn’t get upset also. He is so full of life and love and just an amazing young man overall.

He is so lucky that has two families that love and adore him to no end. He is able to spend time with both parents, and that was a huge agreement made between his father and I upon separating. I can’t describe how grateful I am for that agreement.

There are so many children in the world that don’t have the ability to spend time with both parents often. I was one of those children growing up, and that is why it is so important to me for my son.

I apologize that this is not my normal way of writing, but I needed to vent. I know that what I am doing with college and work is exactly what I should be doing. Yes, it may take time away from my son here and there, and it may create tears to fall, but I am trying to make his life better overall. I’m doing the best that I can as a parent, an employee, a student, and an educator, and I am proud of every choice I make.

For all of the other single-parents out there that work so hard for your children, I applaud you. I stand behind you 100%. I know the daily stressors that attack; I know the feelings of anger and despair. I know what it’s like to fight against yourself to determine what is best for your children.

As long as we keep making time for our little ones, and taking the time to love them, to cherish them, to educate them, I think our path is an honorable one. It’s a tough path, no doubt about it, but an honorable one none-the-less.

Parents, Thank you for all that you do.

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5 responses to “A Thought: Parenting, Time and Tears

  1. It is never easy..believe me, I know! I used to feel so guilty when at one point I had to work 2 jobs and was hardly ever home.
    But what’s you’re doing now will give him and you a brighter future, and some sacrifices will happen along the way. The QUALITY of time you spend together will far outweigh the QUANTITY of time.
    If it helps, take solace in the fact that he has his father and stepmom as well to surround him. I often wish I didn’t always have to be mother AND father all these years, especially when it would have been very simple to share every other week.
    Don’t sweat it kid……it’s all for the greater good 🙂

  2. Bingle says:

    Just remember one thing. No one has ever been on their death bed and said, I wish I had spent more time away from my children. Having a goal is great. Having a plan is awesome. Providing for you and your child is honorable. But he will only be a kid for a time. That time is not as long as you might think. Make sure the balance of time for things away from him is balanced with time for your heart and soul to be in his presence. Just saying.

  3. I have walked in your shoes and was lucky like you to have a relationship that was easy with my daughters father, We did it so well that when he remarried and had children I became known as their aunt and babysat them and had sleep overs with my daughters siblings and our extended family all celebrates birthdays and holidays together and people are blown away but we just put her needs above everything and wanted her to never feel uncomfortable of having her parents in the same room… She is 23 now and is really well ajusted way more than I was by growing up in a divorced home and never seeing my father or knowing him so I am happy we all made it work she has two sets of parents as does her siblings.

    It goes by fast and something I did that might be a thought is that I keep a journal for her and write to her daily and share things of how I felt when she was away and since she is older now I am giving them to her to read and she says it was the best thing that I did and she will have them forever.

    • kyelena2 says:

      That is absolutely beautiful. It’s what I have been trying to do with my situation since the separation occurred. At first it wasn’t healthy at all, especially on one side more than the other. People tend to grow up and mature, and I’m so thankful for that.
      I loved reading about your journal. I started one for my son that I write in here and there. I should write in it more often.
      It’s so nice to find someone else who has shared a similar path. I’m so happy that your family worked through things together. I highly respect that.

      • awindowofwisdom says:

        It is a tough gig but as you know… just because the relationship did not work out does not mean the duel parenting cannot. Let me tell you when people see me with my ex-husbands young children they think they are mine and usually I just say they are my nephew and niece but for a sharped tongue 3 year old who is like a 30 year old she lets everyone know and it is so funny. But even my daughters step mothers family and I have bonded and they give me xmas, birthday and mothers day presents it is just honestly a beautiful thing and like I said my daughter is now 23 and she said it never seemed like a divorce. Which for every other mistake I have made in life makes up for everything!

        I also do the journal thing just in case something were to happen to me so she knows my heart, thoughts and any family ancestor thing that she might have a question about along with quirky stuff and advice where she just laughs at and reads when she is having a bad day. My mom passed away and I have nothing except a recipe card with her writing so that was my other reason. sorry to ramble, I just know how hard it is and I have your back and I send up prayers for everyone going through this it is hard, I worked 3 jobs when she was little and went to school and struggled with guilt for not having enough time or to be able to work in her class and the best piece of advice I ever got was to take time for myself so when I had even a full hour with her I was in the moment.
        I wish you blessings and happiness on your journey

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