Rebekah Honeycutt

Light and Love be with you!

A Thought: Family and Friends

Do you have a large family, or maybe a smaller one?
I decided that the sun beam shining above us was my Grandfather trying to be in the picture too.

My family is HUGE! Not because of the blood line that has carried my last name or the people who have married into the line, but because I have chosen more people to include into my family. Otherwise, my friends are my family as well as my blood/married relatives.

The problem as you grow older is that people begin their own lives. They create families of their own and they may move away from the place they once called home. It’s harder to keep up with each other when there is distance between you.

This occurs the same way as with friendships. Some people you were connected to as a child move away, and your bond is slowly removed. When you return to each other later in life you may find that you are two different people with no common ground anymore. The same happens when you are an adult.

Hopefully, you will have the opposite occur and you can pick up where you left off like nothing ever came between the two of you. This second portion is rare, but it does happen. These people are what I call TRUE friends/family.

Social networking, webcaming, cell phones, and other technologies have helped the world keep better contact with each other. These things allow us to communicate more than we would have been able to in the 90’s and before.

Even with all of these advances in communication, it doesn’t change the fact that people get busy with life. The reason is not that they don’t want to spend time with you, or talking to you.  The reason becomes life; life gets in the way of relationships sometimes.

I think of my blood family often; I check up on their statuses on FaceBook and stalk their photos. (Yep, I’m a family stalker. Haha) Honestly, I miss them more than words could describe. I think of how our family used to be and have trouble accepting that we are so distant now.

This doesn’t mean that I love them any less. I love my family without a doubt and would do anything possible to aid them in their lives. I automatically adore the new babies that are born into our family without having met them. It’s just the way I am I guess.

This works the same way with my friends that I have adopted as family members. I may not have seen them in 15 years, but I can hear their name and the memories will flood through my mind. I still love them today and if they have children, they are adopted family members also.

The part of this conversation that hurts the most is coming to accept that some people that are in your life today will not be there in the future. There is no easy way to grasp this reality, it just occurs naturally with time. There is no way to stop it from occurring, no matter how many times you wish it would not come true.

I had this conversation with my younger sister when she moved in with me from Florida (where I grew up). It upset her having to be away from her friends and not knowing anyone here in North Carolina.

I tried to explain that some people are meant to be in your life forever, and others are meant to stay for a while, make a mark in your life, and for you to remember them fondly later.

As time continued on the closeness she felt with some of her friends in Florida slowly began slipping, and what was left was her TRUE friends. She was also creating friendships here in North Carolina.

At first she didn’t like what I was telling her. She didn’t want it to be true. The more time passed, the more she fought against it with her whole heart. Watching this killed me inside. I wanted her to be right. I wanted all of the people she once knew to be there for her entire life, but they weren’t.

She returned to Florida to find that even when a short amount of time passes, people continue to change with or without you. The realization hit her hard, and she called me very upset. She returned from her trip and was more understanding and able to handle it better now that she had her own experience with it.

The important thing to remember is that no matter if the person is blood or chosen, they are still family.

Love them with your whole heart.

Remember the great times you shared.

Keep the memories of what you learned together close.

Don’t feel like they abandoned you purposefully.

Realize that life continues on.

Feel the pride of having them in your life.

Think of them often.

 

Remembering the fantastic times with my Grandpa.
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