Rebekah Honeycutt

Light and Love be with you!

A Thought: Parenting, Time and Tears

I’m writing today for more of a benefit to myself,

to rearrange the thoughts that are tormenting my mind today.

With going back to school and actually having to attend the classroom setting, more time is being taking away from my son, especially now that summer is over and he is also in school.

I’m trying my best to rearrange my schedule so that I can make the most of our time together. It’s very difficult with a split family schedule. Let me explain, his father and I have a weekly schedule. We swap him to the next parent on Fridays, unless I’m working that day, then it moves to Saturdays.

With me being in a college 1.5 hours away, I pick him up from his school and we hang out for about two hours on Monday and Wednesday of my week. I then take him to his Step-mother and his little brother and head off to class. I absolutely adore them both, so that doesn’t create an issue.

It’s the time available that is the issue at the moment. I wish I could spend every moment with him, even when he is driving me insane. *smiles*

When he is sleeping when I get home, there is a reassuring feeling that washes through my body. I can see him- I know that he is safe, and I feel less stress from that alone.

The last few weeks have been a crazy time for me, and I try not to let it dictate my life. Today, on the other hand, it came to a boil. The tears just keep falling and I can’t make them stop for very long.

I just talked with my son, who had a fantastic day at school, and who makes me laugh with such ease. Of course, I had to put on a happy voice, as we parents do, so that he didn’t get upset also. He is so full of life and love and just an amazing young man overall.

He is so lucky that has two families that love and adore him to no end. He is able to spend time with both parents, and that was a huge agreement made between his father and I upon separating. I can’t describe how grateful I am for that agreement.

There are so many children in the world that don’t have the ability to spend time with both parents often. I was one of those children growing up, and that is why it is so important to me for my son.

I apologize that this is not my normal way of writing, but I needed to vent. I know that what I am doing with college and work is exactly what I should be doing. Yes, it may take time away from my son here and there, and it may create tears to fall, but I am trying to make his life better overall. I’m doing the best that I can as a parent, an employee, a student, and an educator, and I am proud of every choice I make.

For all of the other single-parents out there that work so hard for your children, I applaud you. I stand behind you 100%. I know the daily stressors that attack; I know the feelings of anger and despair. I know what it’s like to fight against yourself to determine what is best for your children.

As long as we keep making time for our little ones, and taking the time to love them, to cherish them, to educate them, I think our path is an honorable one. It’s a tough path, no doubt about it, but an honorable one none-the-less.

Thank you for all that you do.


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