Rebekah Honeycutt

Light and Love be with you!

Dating: Locations and Activities

My first thought on this was I’m not every girl, so maybe what I would like to do wouldn’t be so enticing to another female. My second thought was guys could use some ideas from a female perspective. Then, my third thought was to be fair; women sometimes decide what to do on a date also.

Next, I decided to ask some of the males that I work with for their opinions of what to do on a first date. It was a very interesting conversation, and it lasted quite a while. I realized that most gentlemen are at a loss for ideas when asked on the spot about a dating activity. I also realized that when given time and other people to bounce ideas off of, men become more creative.

Personally, my favorite dates are ones that combines these items: respect, randomness, entertainment, laughter, and information about the other person.  I don’t go for the normal “Dinner and a movie”. To me, that means this guy hasn’t put much thought into wanting to get to know me. I desire a date that is different from any other date I have been on. I don’t want to go to a ritzy restaurant and feel uncomfortable. I don’t want the guy to have to pay outrageous amounts of money to enjoy our time together. So, here are some thoughts of mine, are you ready? J

1. Tourist Attractions: I know when you live in a town for a long time you forget that you have other people that come here as tourists. I’m one of the world’s worst at realizing there are so many things going on behind the scenes that I see daily. Pick up a local newspaper (or google it), look up your county’s (or town’s) website, or the counties close by and find out what’s happening. Each county/town usually has an area for local events. Find something interesting within the text. Maybe there is an art exhibit, a play, a comedian, or a festival. Most of these things just cost the gas to get there, or a small fee, and you can leave at any time to find something else to do.

 2. Fantastic Scenery: Here in the mountains we have a major tourist attraction called “The Blue Ridge Parkway”. If you haven’t been here, you definitely want to see this! Guys, pick up your lady, and take her to pick out some fresh fruits from your local grocery store. Grab a bottle of sparkling grape juice, or some other non-alcoholic refreshment (no drinking and driving please), and then head to a beautiful place you can relax and sit. If you live near a river, or creek, or beach, try out these places. (Forewarning- eat the fruit away from the beach… it doesn’t taste so great when your crunching sand.)

3. Local Park: Find a place where you can walk and talk. A park is the perfect place. There are usually a few people around, so you can see how the other person reacts to strangers. (This is important to me; it tells me if they are polite to others, timid, or outgoing.) If you have an outgoing personality with you, try out the swings, monkey bars, or go down a slide. In my opinion, this is one of those times to find that childish center of you and remind the other person they have it to.

4. Scavenger Hunt: This just sounds like fun to me. Make a list of some random objects to find while walking through your downtown area. This list should include things such as the color orange, a red button, the number 8, etc. It adds creativity to the date and allows you to further enjoy what the town has to offer. You could even add something that caters to the other person’s interests if you know them beforehand such as buildings, spas, historical landmarks.

  1.  5. Art: Purchase a sketch book and some colored pencils or paint/paintbrushes. Walk around town and attempt to paint some of the things you see. Ideas could include a statue, a tree, or a building. If you are a decent artist, you could always try drawing each other. (I am a horrible artist, but I had a blast failing at drawing with my date) Plus, if you two decide to continue dating, you have a wonderful memento to look back at and enjoy.

 

6. Meal Time: Make a homemade breakfast, lunch or dinner. It’s more enjoyable for two people to make a meal together then to go out to a fancy restaurant. Have fun with it. If you have the meal already planned, then ask them to assist you with a part of creating it (such as squeezing the lemons to make lemonade or stirring an item while you chop the veggies.) This activity allows you to talk with each other, and see how the other person feels in the kitchen.

7. Travel Games: If you decide to go to the next town over to do an activity, you may want some conversation topics or games to play while you drive. You can find things like this by googling them or by stopping at a store like Wal-Mart. This will give the passenger something to do with their hands and a way to occupy their brain. This also allows you to enjoy each other’s company with a twist. There are a lot of “I Spy”-type games, and Alphabet games. One of my favorites is finding words that begin with a letter; you start at A and work your way to Z. (You can use License Plates for the toughies)

I’m sure I can come up with a lot more ideas in the future if you are interested in more. I will return now to the Dinner and a Movie cliché.

Movies: Now, I’m not putting the idea of going out to a movie down as horrible, but I am making a stance that you don’t have the opportunity to get to know each other. Also, I really don’t think of a movie theater as romantic… the floors are sticky, popcorn gets stuck in your teeth, and there are some funny smells that are in those places sometimes.

Restaurants: Going to out for dinner is also a good way to get away from the house if you have roommates, or are not okay with the other person knowing where you live. So I’m not saying don’t go out to eat, but choose wisely. Most people I talk to say an Italian place, a Steak house, or a Japanese steak house where they cook in front of you are a great start.

This is a starter list. Take what you want, leave what you don’t, and try to create your own unique night for the lady or gentleman you will be dating. Remember; don’t forget to have a plan B in case something you choose isn’t what you thought it would be.

I’d love to hear some of your thoughts/ideas. Leave them in the comments area below, Thanks!

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Dating: Doors and Cars

I have talked with multiple younger and older girls alike that don’t understand the reasoning behind the rule of opening doors when on a date. So, today’s post is about the etiquette of dating and cars.

When you decide that the guy you have met, or known for a while, is acceptable for you to go on a date with; you need to know the rules. The guidelines are as follows:

The gentleman you are going with, let’s call him “Jim”, will come to your front door to pick you up. Jim will have to meet your parents. Jim will have to encounter questioning from said parents. He should also offer the parents his cell phone number.

When you two leave the house, Jim will open the front door to escort you out.

Jim will then open the car door for you to sit in the passenger seat. He will wait until you are settled in to close the door behind you.

You will reach over and open his door from the inside.

Everywhere you go, you will sit patiently and smile sweetly when he comes around the car and opens your door for you to get out. You will also follow the instructions above each time you get into the car.

When the date is at a close, he will walk you to your front door, and then you will wait until he gets back to his car to go inside. (Sometimes, you will wait until you no longer see his car as he drives away.)

Now, I will explain why these things are done.

When Jim comes to the front door to meet the parents, he is displaying that he understands their concerns. He entertains their questions with honest answers because he wants to show that they can trust him with their daughter. He is also presenting himself so that the parents know what he looks like, his name, his phone number, and information about his car just in case anything happens. This helps to ease the parents mind so that you can have a better date.

Next, the reason Jim will open the car door for you is to display a sign of respect. He is telling you through his actions that he is interested in getting to know you, and that he will treat you like you are supposed to be treated- like a Lady.

When you reach over and open his door, this is saying to Jim that you also are interested in getting to know him, and you are showing a sign of respect for him.

When he escorts you to the door, he is making sure that you get home safely. He is also putting himself in front of the parents (who are hiding behind the window) in case he needs to be talked to. (If he brought you home late, etc.)

You are showing him the same concern when you wait until he gets back into his car. The reason you would wait until he is down the road is mostly because you are smitten by him, and you enjoyed your date. (If you didn’t enjoy yourself, go inside when he gets to his car.)

Now, when I explained all of this to my younger sister, I told her “DO NOT get into his car if he doesn’t open your door. Just stand there.”

She will probably kill me for writing about this, but when this happened to her, she stood there like a lady and waited. (I was so proud.) The poor guy was completely lost. He got into his car. She stood beside the passenger door, and looked around at the scenery nonchalantly (like I had advised). He sat there, played with his radio, looked at his phone… then rolled down his window and asked her what was wrong. (WOW, right?) She peered down into his car window, smiled and said, “I am a lady, and you haven’t opened my door.”  He immediately got out and apologized. She decided to give him a second chance, and continued on their date.

By now, you can guess this guy was stuck in the friend zone at the end of this date. She had lots of stories to tell when she got home. I’ve had the same thing happen to me before, but none of them were half as slow to react as that guy.

Now that you know the reasoning, please make sure the guy you are with shows you respect. If not, don’t get into the car. It will only get worse as the night goes on. Just politely explain that you no longer wish to go with him tonight due to his lack of manners. The guy will more than likely apologize for his absence of gentleman-like qualities, and you can decide from there if you want to continue the date. I support whatever decision you come to at that point.

Speaking of gentleman-like qualities, I’ve decided I will also start blogging about how to be a gentleman soon. 

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