Rebekah Honeycutt

Light and Love be with you!

How to Be a Lady: Makeup

As with clothing, I don’t believe that the makeup you wear defines you as a lady. There are some websites I examined that attempt to explain that wearing light pinks makes you a lady. I don’t think so. If wearing pink all the time makes you a lady, then I really wouldn’t want to be one.

Makeup is meant to enhance your natural beauty. It is not meant to be worn as a cover-up. What is it about your face that makes you happy? When you look in the mirror, what is the first thing your eyes are drawn to? These are the things that make you unique.

When I look at my face, I tend to stare at my eyes for a long period of time (usually checking to see what color they are today- they change with my mood). Then I look at my lips. These are the two things I choose to enhance. Now, I don’t take away from them by putting too much work into them, I simply place a little color, glitter, or gloss then continue on with my day. I personally, never wear concealer. It just doesn’t let my skin feel normal; plus, I don’t want to leave smear marks on others when I hug them.

I saw a picture on Facebook today that mentioned makeup, and I quote:

“To all the girls that wear a lot of makeup: Take it easy, it’s called a FACE, not a coloring book.”

While this does display a rather humorous line, it also exhibits truth. When I see caked on concealer, I sit there and wonder to myself, “What is she ashamed of?” Usually my second thought is less about her emotions and more about her knowledge basis; “Maybe she hasn’t been taught the delicate art of makeup placement.”

When I was a young girl in Camp Fire Boys and Girls (similar to Girl/Boy scouts) we use to have Mary Kay Facial Parties. The Mary Kay consultants were incredible teachers that showed us how to correctly cleanse and apply makeup so that we accented our natural beauty. It’s easy to find a Mary Kay consultant if you’d like to try a party. There are also many places within the mall or around town that provide this service free of charge. Whichever company you choose will also show you the products that will be best for your skin texture and tones.

Of course, there are many websites that explain and guide you in this adventure. Take the time to glimpse at a few of them, and see which site feels the best to you. I especially encourage the sites that explain why they are placing colors in a certain place. (Some will make your eyes look larger, some smaller, etc.)

In conclusion, wear makeup the way you want to. I recommend educating yourself on applications and what they enhance. I don’t believe that what you wear on your body or on your face can define you as a lady. I do believe that you should wear what makes your self-esteem and self-love increase.

I found an interesting article called, A Brief History of Makeup by Christy Tillery French.

Here is her link: http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/a-brief-history-of-makeup/ 

 

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How To Be a Lady: Clothing

So, I decided to Google “How to become a Lady” after I wrote my last piece… and I was appalled at some of the things I found. Some sites I found focus completely on fashion and makeup. So, let’s discuss clothing first.

I understand that in the older days, women were only considered ladies if they had money, acted in a certain way, and dressed in a certain manner. In my mind, that is only being perceived as a lady for the people around you. What personality did these women have away from the public eye? Were they happy with her inside and their outside?

When I think of the older days, my thoughts drift to the girl that worked as a servant. Let’s say she was kind-hearted, giving, caring, and understanding. She performed her job daily, no matter her tasks. She studied to increase her intelligence, and she showed pride in herself. She strived to do her best, and presented herself in a respectable manner. Overall, she may not have the best clothes in the room, but, I believe she would be considered a lady.

This leads back to: outward appearance is how others view you. When you wear an outfit, it attracts a certain type of response. You may feel like a lady on the inside, but present yourself in a manner which will make others see you in a different light. In my opinion, yes there are certain ways in which you should dress, but they do not define you as a lady.

To explain the dress comment I would have to present mini-skirts, extremely low cut tops, and shirts with “not-so-nice” comments on them. These can have a negative effect on how you are perceived, depending on how they are presented. I could see wearing a mini-skirt with tights underneath, or a low cut shirt over a tank top for a layering effect. I can’t find a way to present the “not-so-nice” comment shirt without simply leaving it at the store to be bought by someone else.

When wearing the type of attire listed above, you would appeal to a certain type of male. This male would not be the one to open doors, share an intelligent conversation, or lavish you with adoration. He would however, be able to show you a good time, tempt you to do things you may not want to, and give you attention for a short period of time. I can honestly say turning a man’s head as you walk down the street is a fantastic ego boost, but for what reason did he turn around? Was it to see your smile again, or your chest? Which would you prefer?

So, my advice is to wear clothes that are appropriate for your age and that portrays you as you wish to be seen. I prefer clothing that is comfortable, and yet appealing to me. You don’t need to show off “What the good lord gave you” as some people in my life say. I choose jeans and a t-shirt most days. When I want to feel pretty I choose a dressy top, maybe a long denim skirt. As long as the clothing isn’t portraying you in a negative manner, go with it.

Just remember, what you wear isn’t as important as who you are inside. Love you, and choose something that shows you are more than a body to be stared at.

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Becoming A Lady

I have explained my thoughts on becoming and acting like a lady multiple times to young girls I encounter, including my little sisters who have heard this topic more than once.  Being a lady begins from inside of you.

The first step in becoming a lady is to believe in you. Understand that you are a wonderful and unique person. You don’t need to change who you are deep inside. You don’t need to change what you wear or how you place your hair. Do a little soul searching and make a list of all the things that make you who you are. An example may be: I am optimistic, I am energetic, etc. What about your personality makes you a special person to others? Ask your friends or family if you need assistance.

The second step is to show yourself respect. If you want others to value your personality, you have to start from within.  Are you acting in a way that shows you are a respectable young lady? When speaking with others, do you appreciate their thoughts? When thinking about a ‘lady’ you don’t have to be Miss. Prim and Proper, but show yourself the respect you want others to demonstrate.

The third step is look for others that you admire, or believe is a lady. Watch how they act in different situations. Do they just appear to be a lady, or do they show that they place belief and respect in themselves. These are the types of people you should attempt to be around. When you are around someone for long periods of time, you begin acting like them, whether you want to or not. By placing yourself around people you believe to be ladies and gentleman, this will open your world to new views. What do you believe makes a lady?

The fourth step is finding your support network. There are people in your life that believe in you even when you don’t. This is a very important step. Usually with a rebellious teenager, this is one of the hardest steps. The problem they find here is listening to constructive criticism. Find those people that love and adore you, and ask them what they see in you. Ask them to help you see yourself through their eyes. What positive input can they give you? If you are like me, I make lists, so I can go back and review them. Remember, you are asking them for their honest opinion, so be open to the answers you will receive.

The fifth step would be to begin displaying outwardly who you want to be. Try your best to be polite. Show the people around you that you do in fact wish to earn their respect. Demanding respect is not a lady-like quality. It may take some getting used to, and that is perfectly okay. Take your time getting to know who you are, what you want to do, and who you want to become.

I can tell you, as a young teenager, I didn’t want to be a lady. When I thought of a lady, I thought of a snobby-type woman with expensive clothing, and someone who didn’t want to break a nail. I grew up as more of a tom-boy, and I didn’t want the boys to think I needed them for anything, period. When a guy would ask to carry my books in school, my response was, “I have arms.” I didn’t want to be a girl who needed a man to carry her around. I wanted to be strong and independent.

Now that I am older, I look back at all of those thoughts and laugh. The guy wanting to carry my books wasn’t trying to tell me I was weak and helpless, he was trying to show me respect and gain my attention. Boy, did I screw that one up. I also realize now that most of the time, those snobby women with expensive clothes and perfect nails, aren’t really ladies at all. That isn’t my description of a person I would like to be similar to, what about you?

Being a lady is not about being weak, or interdependent on others. To me, a lady is many things wrapped into one. She is kind, caring, considerate, and respectful of others. She is confident in herself, respectful of whom she is, shows pride in herself, and openly displays an attitude of love.  She is accepting of others decisions, and beliefs, and does not concern herself with making others believe what she does. She is self-sufficient but able to ask others for assistance, or include others while working on a task. There are many other items I can add to this list, but I wanted to share a few.

So, to recap, the important steps in becoming a lady are: Believe in yourself, Respect who you are, analyze why you respect others, Find your support network, and lastly, begin your transformation.

It may seem like becoming a lady is changing who you are. It’s not about changing you; it’s about enhancing those wonderful aspects of yourself to become the lady you wish to be. It’s about finding the real you that is hidden under many layers of disappointment, heart-ache, and disrespect.

Once you find the lady within you, you won’t want to let her go. She is the part of you that places all of your best qualities on the front line. She is the part of you that gets you through the heart-ache, disappointments, and harsh words others say. Find her, and you will benefit greatly.

Of course, if you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me or leave a comment. I would love to assist you in your quest. Kyelena2@yahoo.com

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