Rebekah Honeycutt

Light and Love be with you!

Roller Coaster Called Life

Sometimes life can send you on a roller coaster ride. We’ve all heard this before, and it remains true. At some point you feel like you are going up the tallest slope, you’re super excited and nervous at the same time, all the while focused at the peak you’re about to reach. Then suddenly, you’ve made it! You smile, you’re ecstatic! Woohoo! I made it! Then you’re falling, falling so fast you can hardly breathe.

The question is… what happens next? Do you continue to ride this coaster, or get off and get onto another track? Do you hang on tightly with gripped hands as you continue up the next slope?

I like to continue. What’s going to happen around the next corner? What sight will I see at the next peak? How long will it take to achieve my next goal and proudly smile at the top? I know that there will be another fall, that’s a given… it’s just part of the ride.

The adrenaline is rushing through my veins. The wind is blowing through my hair. The man next to me is holding my hand just as tightly as I hold his. We make the long struggling journey up the slope. I look over to stare into his eyes as we finally crest over the tip. We smile lovingly at one another. We blink, and we’re falling… more quickly then we had thought it would happen. Once at the bottom, I notice he’s still holding my hand just as tightly as before…  still placing all of his faith in me. Knowing that we are there, knowing that our love can surpass any obstacle… we began the ascent to another peak. I smile lovingly and ensure that he knows I’m not going anywhere, I’m along for the ride… ups, downs, and in betweens.

-Rebekah

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A Thought: Busy Days and Time

 

Is there ever enough time in a day!?

Wakey, Wakey...

Wakey, Wakey…

 

Lately it seems that my day ends before I can even begin to wake up properly. I get up, get dressed, get ready to go in a hurry… and then I’m in bed again.

Where does the day go? Does it disappear somehow into thin air?

I have a list of things I need to accomplish at the beginning of everyday. Some can be as mundane as taking the trash off, or washing the dishes… and some are more important like school work, taking my son to school and picking him up.

 

 

Snow doesn't help time...

Snow doesn’t help time…

I do understand that the drive to his school (45 min one way) does take a lot of time away from my day, and the drive to school (1.5 hrs one way) does exactly the same. Maybe that is why I seem to feel behind on everything else… I have to focus on other drivers, the road, and how I’m driving during those periods.

If I had a Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang would it help?

I’m going to say no. Even with Chitty, you have to steer… watch out for birds, airplanes, helicopters, and around here: Hot Air Balloons. (For some reason, people really like them in this area)

Maybe Teleporting?

I would venture to say this would help more so… but since the technology isn’t quite available yet, it’s another no. (What if I accidently teleported into the center of a building!)

Tape Recorder to help get my thoughts out?

This is a major no. I would leave it at home on accident every time I needed it, or I’d be talking away and I hadn’t pressed the record button. That would be my luck there.

Well, hmm. Can you think of anything besides hiring an assistant to ride around with me all day?

A purse I made...

A purse I made…

 

Now, I do have time to relax at some points during a week, and when they come… I don’t want them to end. The problem is – I don’t really know how to relax. My mind is going a hundred miles an hour thinking about all the things I could be fitting into this time period instead of doing nothing. Then, when the time period for rest is done, I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything, and it makes me feel guilty. (This is also the time frame where I become crafty…)

 

 

Now onto the awesome thing known to some as “Sleep”.

I love to sleep. I love to nap. I love to dream.

Headed to sleep

Headed to sleep

Sleeping also takes a lot of energy; your brain never stops. Sometimes you can wake up relaxed and at peace with your soul. Other times you have been at work in your dream and you wake up angry, sad, or determined.

Overall, my conclusion is:

This is life… take it as it is. Try your best to accomplish things during the day that make you feel positive about yourself. Make sure to take some time for just you too… even if it does make you feel guilty. Happiness is what you make it!

 

Where is your favorite place to relax?

On a beach? In your bed? On a recliner? On a rock atop a mountain?

My County.

My County.

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Clicking

Have you ever meet someone you just “clicked” with?

I find it fascinating when this happens.You can talk freely about anything and everything… Why is the earth round? Why can’t penguins fly?

Then there are other people you try your best to “click” with, but no matter what you do, it just doesn’t happen. The odd eerie silence fills the room as you stare into the abyss trying to find dialect.

I know someone has the scientific theory of this reasoning memorized word for word…
I like to think of it as the higher power showing you who to keep in your life, or who to keep closer.

The people that you “click” with are there for a reason, their purpose is to teach you something you didn’t know. They guide you down a path that leads you to another “click”.

Are you paying attention to their lessons?

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A Thought: Life is a Path


I believe that two people are created perfectly for each other.

Waiting for mate

Each person starts on a path called life. As they decide to turn left and turn right they are molded. Each life experience continues to mold them and allows them to become the person they need to be for their perfect mate.

Of course, while this is happening to one, it is also occurring with the other. Until they are both perfectly molded, a relationship between the two will not work and excel in the way they wish it would.

You are walking in parallel paths until something happens to push the two paths together. Once you are perfectly developed in your life experiences, then you shall find one another, and begin down the new path of your life together.

Now, to explain myself further, I don’t believe that this new path will be easy by any means. There will be fights, insecurities, and huge mountains to overcome, but you can diligently work together to continue molding yourselves into one.

I can’t say that I have met my “perfect person” yet, maybe I have… I could have met them in an elevator, or at a store, or maybe passed them on the way to run an errand. Then again, maybe I am learning about them now, evaluating whether a relationship would work between us.

I have always wished there would be a little red blinking arrow above my “perfect mates” head that allowed me to know instantly… yep, he’s mine. Alas, there is no such light. So, I will continue down my path of stepping stones, rocky climbs and tornado swept areas until I find My Mr. Perfect.

Hopefully, he is out there making all the wrong choices and then the right choices so that he can meet His Mrs. Perfect. I’m just going to wait…. even though I am purely impatient to the bone. Haha

Have you met Your Mr. or Mrs. Perfect? Did you know instantly, or did it take a while to truly understand the longevity of the relationship?

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Education and Empowerment

“Knowledge is Power”

Francis Bacon

If you haven’t been able to tell, I am a stickler for education. Even my car says so… it’s a rolling billboard for the colleges I have attended.

My courses this semester will be ending tonight, and I have a feeling of pure sadness that washes over me every time I remember. The people whom I have met this semester are wonderful, intelligent, and beautiful people. I don’t want to lose their unique personalities and their encouragement from my nights in class. They have created their own personal mark on my heart, and will forever be in my life.

My personal education thoughts:

I have been told I am a difficult student to teach. I tend to ask questions that people don’t want to answer, or don’t have an answer for. An answer I have received, for example, “It’s beyond your pay grade, so you don’t need to know it.” That answer irritates me. Why would I ask a question I didn’t want to know the answer to?

I usually take on a mother hen approach toward the other students in my classes. I advocate for their needs as well as my own. I ensure that the students who are trying their best have an adequate understanding of the material before them. I create study sessions to assist them, I text them random questions to get their mind reeling, and I place them in situations where it can be easily understood. I don’t want to leave someone behind when they demonstrate true yearning for knowledge.

Knowledge is everything to me, without it, we are lifeless organisms. Our destinies or choices will not be obtained, and our minds become null and void. Each person is different from the next in the way they understand and cling to certain types of information. Each person follows their own path to become the person they choose to be. IE: Without a mechanic, my car would be broken. I have skills that others do not, and they have skills that I do not. Actually… come to think of it, Mother Teresa said something just like that, and I quote, “I can do things you cannot, you can do things I cannot; together we can do great things.”

I want to become an educator in the near future. I have a yearning and a passion to teach others. I love the way a person lights up when they finally comprehend something they have been attempting to master. The intensity of that situation is amazing to watch and feel. I enjoy being a stepping stone on their way to greatness.

My goals for the future:

  • I will do my best to educate my son on the ways of life, the opportunities available, and enhance the skills within him.
  • I will instruct American Sign Language courses. It’s a passion that I found in fourth grade when I first learned the manual alphabet and heard the story of Helen Keller. I was instantly obsessed. Of course, back then, it wasn’t as easy to obtain information to further my understanding.
  • I will continue to write. I will publish books that mean something to me. I will blog on my thoughts and I will encourage others. My mother always called me her little cheerleader, and I love that title.
  • I will educate others on subjects that I am familiar with, and lead them toward a way to obtain the information I am not.
  • I will love every person I meet for who they are and who they want to become. I will support them in their journeys by either walking beside them, or standing in the background smiling and clapping obnoxiously.
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A Single Mom’s Christmas

For a single mother Christmas season can be a dreaded experience; I know this to be fact. I have heard of women being fearful to leave their emotionally or physically abusive relationships due to trying to provide a positive Christmas for their children.

I want to take you through my Christmas two seasons ago, to share with you the struggles that I had incurred.

Christmas 2010 was my first Christmas without my son. I had broken my right clavicle the month before, and we were snowed in at the house. “We” consisted of my sister, her boyfriend and I. My son’s birthday is The 23rd of December, and I missed celebrating that day with him also. We had been snowed in for a total of five days by the time I was able to have a friend drive me to pick him up from his father. Of course, his father and I didn’t want to risk the safety issues of the drive between us with our son in the car during that point either.

I was a wreck, no other way to describe it. I became very depressed during those five days, feeling as though my world was crashing down on my shoulders. I remember sitting in the fetal position in the laundry room, tears falling uncontrollably. Not only was I not able to drive very well with the healing clavicle, but I was out of work for a total of three months and had been waiting to receive the money from my insurance company.

As some of you know, I am a very prideful, independent woman. I can’t stand even the thought of asking another person for assistance. Just writing those words brings tears to my eyes at this moment. It’s something I struggle with constantly. I was overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy, thoughts that I had somehow failed as a mother.

Now, with not having much finances coming in, I was unable to afford oil to heat the house. Luckily, my mother and uncle had purchased an Amish fireplace for me and the kids. I was beyond grateful. The electric heaters were kicking my bills up into the 300 range each month. I do have a stove heater in the basement of the house, but my house is large, and it doesn’t heat the upstairs areas well.

My sister and I decided we would wait to open the few gifts that I had been able to afford them, until my son came home. When he arrived he told of the wonderful gifts that he had received from his father’s side of the family. I was so happy his father and his fiancé were able to afford more than I could. I had only been able to get him two presents for his birthday, and two more for his Christmas. My sister also had two.

As they opened their gifts their smiles never faltered, but I wanted to give them more. Tears streamed down my face as after they opened each one, they ran to me and hugged me tightly thanking me. All I could say to my sister was, “I’m sorry, you deserve more.” I will never forget her facial expression at that moment. She looked at me with tear filled eyes and disbelief covered her face. She held me tightly and whispered, “No, you deserve more than we could give you.”

I didn’t think so. I hadn’t provided them with what society has lead us to believe Christmas is about, Gifts. Even though they didn’t have much, they had me to support and love them with unwavering affection. We had a blast cooking, singing, dancing, and playing with the items they had received. We also made an igloo in the front yard. (Brr, It was cold) They had written me home-made letters which I will forever cherish. Our Christmas celebration (not on Christmas) was a positive one over all.

I want to say that I know that Christmas is not about gifts. I know the true meaning behind Christmas. After saying that, it still makes it difficult in a parents mind to not “go all out” for your children.

So, in response to the women and men who are out there struggling with the decision of: To leave or not leave. Do what is in the best interest for you and your children emotionally. Your children are able to feel your emotions even when you attempt to hide them. Being in an unhappy relationship can strain the relationship with your children. Your child/ren wants you to be happy too. Keep your chin up through the hard times, because they can be rough. Keep your eyes focused on the rainbow at the end of the downpour.

Would you rather your parents show you unconditional love, or give you meaningless gifts?

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Words and Inspiration

  I have recently become obsessed with an incredible poem. It is one of those poems that activate a toggle that  lives frozen inside your soul. When something touches the switch, it creates this fire, this passion, this rage, that burns and captivates your soul. It causes your mind to reel, your energy to increase. It makes you believe in something. When I read or hear something that entices my every cell, I have to share it with others.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas

 

I first stumbled upon it by way of a book, Marked by Ally Condie, which is such an inspiring and well written novel. When I read it the first time, I skimmed through the first few sentences. I then stopped and re-read it probably ten more times before continuing with the book. The words are graceful, eloquent, and full of thought provocation.

Then I was speaking with a friend who told me a story about his favorite poem. I was surprised to find that it was the same poem I had recently read for the first time. His father would read this poem to him, and now he reads it to his children. To watch the passion flicker in his eyes as he told his thoughts and to feel his emotions as our discussion continued was purely amazing. I could see that this poem had activated another’s frozen lever, like a key that was created perfectly for the lock.

Each time I read these words, another situation forms in my thoughts. Something that I should take a stance on, something that I should believe in enough to share: From small things such as biting my tongue when I should speak up, to larger issues such as the education of today’s youth.

This is why I love to write. This is what provides me with the encouragement to move forward when I could stay silent… Inspiration through words.

Have there been any words that have caused you to unfreeze that switch in your soul?

Please, without a doubt, be so kind as to share them with others. Leave a link in the comment section below.

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Thoughts: Differences of Opinion and The Election

I understand that people’s opinions are different. I understand when someone wants to share their opinion. What I don’t understand is when someone decides that their opinion is the only one that is correct.

I am the type of person who loves to hear others thoughts. I love trying to figure out why they think the way they do. I’m always interested to hear how other people live their lives.

I just can’t comprehend the anger and heat that occurs when having a discussion. The topic may be political, religious, or random. I watch other people tighten their posture, pound their fists, and even yell with red tinged eyes. I can see that they may be passionate about the topic, but at the same time, isn’t that a more childish response?

I understand that others may not agree with my ideas/thoughts, and that is perfectly fine. They don’t have to. My thoughts are mine; they are what I have concluded due to my own life path.

I encourage others to share their own ideas, but if I don’t agree, I don’t want to be yelled at or disrespected because of that.

Take for example religion. I was raised in a Southern Baptist home. That life style is all I knew growing up. When I became old enough to make my own decisions, I did just that. I don’t know why or how the world was created, but I’m open to the theories and the research others have done.

I was asked in my sociology class last semester if I believed that all persons that weren’t of the same religion/spiritual belief as I am were bad people/evil/lost souls, etc. Of course, I enjoyed reading other’s responses to the topic. I watched as people would flare up at one other due to their cultural backgrounds.

When I see things like this occurring, I start thinking about what they hope to accomplish from this conversation. Do people really think they can change the opinion of someone else just because they resort to a violent way of conversing? Honestly, it would deter more me from their opinion.

This brings me to the presidency of the United States. (Yep, I’m gonna go there) Why would anyone want to vote for a person who disrespects and judges another? We sit and watch these “debates” and commercials where they pick each other apart and say this person is bad because…. Or don’t vote for this person because… Wouldn’t it be better if they said, “Hey, this is what I support, here is a layout of my goals if I become president. I hope you will vote for me.” Plain, simple, to the point, and you’re not bashing/slandering/Libeling another person. That I would vote for.

This is the reason I don’t vote. I don’t want to promote the disrespect and the dishonor that occurs with every election. Of course, because I don’t vote, my opinion on this doesn’t matter to some. Which is fine, but please don’t get upset with me for not voting. I do understand its importance, but I’d rather not lower my standards on what I expect from a leader.

What types of qualities do you look for in a leader?

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A Thought: Parenting, Time and Tears


I’m writing today for more of a benefit to myself,

to rearrange the thoughts that are tormenting my mind today.

With going back to school and actually having to attend the classroom setting, more time is being taking away from my son, especially now that summer is over and he is also in school.

I’m trying my best to rearrange my schedule so that I can make the most of our time together. It’s very difficult with a split family schedule. Let me explain, his father and I have a weekly schedule. We swap him to the next parent on Fridays, unless I’m working that day, then it moves to Saturdays.

With me being in a college 1.5 hours away, I pick him up from his school and we hang out for about two hours on Monday and Wednesday of my week. I then take him to his Step-mother and his little brother and head off to class. I absolutely adore them both, so that doesn’t create an issue.

It’s the time available that is the issue at the moment. I wish I could spend every moment with him, even when he is driving me insane. *smiles*

When he is sleeping when I get home, there is a reassuring feeling that washes through my body. I can see him- I know that he is safe, and I feel less stress from that alone.

The last few weeks have been a crazy time for me, and I try not to let it dictate my life. Today, on the other hand, it came to a boil. The tears just keep falling and I can’t make them stop for very long.

I just talked with my son, who had a fantastic day at school, and who makes me laugh with such ease. Of course, I had to put on a happy voice, as we parents do, so that he didn’t get upset also. He is so full of life and love and just an amazing young man overall.

He is so lucky that has two families that love and adore him to no end. He is able to spend time with both parents, and that was a huge agreement made between his father and I upon separating. I can’t describe how grateful I am for that agreement.

There are so many children in the world that don’t have the ability to spend time with both parents often. I was one of those children growing up, and that is why it is so important to me for my son.

I apologize that this is not my normal way of writing, but I needed to vent. I know that what I am doing with college and work is exactly what I should be doing. Yes, it may take time away from my son here and there, and it may create tears to fall, but I am trying to make his life better overall. I’m doing the best that I can as a parent, an employee, a student, and an educator, and I am proud of every choice I make.

For all of the other single-parents out there that work so hard for your children, I applaud you. I stand behind you 100%. I know the daily stressors that attack; I know the feelings of anger and despair. I know what it’s like to fight against yourself to determine what is best for your children.

As long as we keep making time for our little ones, and taking the time to love them, to cherish them, to educate them, I think our path is an honorable one. It’s a tough path, no doubt about it, but an honorable one none-the-less.

Parents, Thank you for all that you do.

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A Thought: Hate and Anger

Hate:

I was thinking that Hate is a strong word.

I was wondering, can you really “Hate” someone?

After analyzing this many times over, I have come to a conclusion:

You have to love someone, truly love them, before you can hate them.

To be able to fully “hate” a person, you have to know who that person is deep down. You have to understand why they do the things they do, make the choices they make. Without understanding the complete person, would it really be called hate?

I can honestly say that I don’t hate anyone. There has never been a person that I have loved that I would want to hate. I may dislike some of their qualities/quirks, but to say that I hate them as a person would be wrong.

I can’t say that I hate someone I barely know for exactly that reason- I don’t know them. Just because someone has acted hateful towards me doesn’t mean that they are a terrible person and deserve to be hated. It probably means they were having a bad day, or that they just didn’t like something about my personality. That’s fine with me. Not everyone can like who I am, and they don’t have to.

Anger:

Now, anger is a positive response that can be transformed into a very negative situation. Releasing the pent-up stress of daily life can be wonderful, it can be relaxing if it is done in a positive manner. Just be cautious with the decision of how you let the anger out.

Usually once a month, my son and I will be driving down the road. I will roll the windows down and we will scream at the top of our lungs, “I’m angry! I’m mad!” until we feel relaxed. I started this because he was having behavior issues where he wasn’t listening, he was difficult to talk to, and I couldn’t stand seeing him that way. I wanted him to have a way to release any stress that I couldn’t see or that he was hiding. At the time, my sister lived with us, and she and I started this together.

This stress reliever works wonders. After screaming a few times we always start laughing, and it makes my body relax all those tensions that have been eating away at me.

Anger and Hate Combined:

There has only been one person in my life that could push the “anger buttons” inside of me in 5 seconds flat. I’m not sure why he loved to do it, but none-the-less it happened. I would fly off the handle and become a bomb that had just exploded.

It wasn’t because I hated him that he could manage to do this; it was because I loved him with every part of my being.

The fact is that once you love some, you can’t just turn it off. It’s there forever, as a mark on your heart and soul. You may not want to be with that person any longer, or want to share your love with them, but it still exists. When you feel angry with them, you may want to scream, pull your hair out, punch them in the face, or write your fury in a journal, but anger doesn’t equal hate. Love doesn’t equal hate.

Does hate even exist or is it just a word with no obtainable definition?

The Point Is-

Hate is a powerful word that shouldn’t be used to mean “dislike”.

Love is more powerful than hate.

You can never truly hate anyone. Love is still there, whether you choose to show it or not.

Don’t show strong dislike for someone you don’t know just because of something they may have done.

Lastly, Enjoy releasing your anger in positive ways.

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