Rebekah Honeycutt

Light and Love be with you!

How to be a Lady: Becoming a Lady

Becoming a Lady

I have explained my thoughts on becoming and acting like a lady multiple times to young girls I encounter, including my little sisters who have heard this topic more than once.  Being a lady begins from inside of you.

The first step in becoming a lady is to believe in you. Understand that you are a wonderful and unique person. You don’t need to change who you are deep inside. You don’t need to change what you wear or how you place your hair. Do a little soul searching and make a list of all the things that make you who you are. An example may be: I am optimistic, I am energetic, etc. What about your personality makes you a special person to others? Ask your friends or family if you need assistance.

The second step is to show yourself respect. If you want others to show you respect, you have to start from within.  Are you acting in a way that shows you are a respectable young lady? When speaking with others, do you show respect to them and you? When thinking about a ‘lady’ you don’t have to be Miss. Prim and Proper, but show yourself the respect you want others to demonstrate.

The third step is look for others that you respect, or believe is a lady. Watch how they act in different situations. Do they just appear to be a lady, or do they show that they place belief and respect in themselves. These are the types of people you should attempt to be around. When you are around someone for long periods of time, you begin acting like them, whether you want to or not. By placing yourself around people you believe to be ladies and gentleman, this will open your world to new views. What do you believe makes a lady?

The fourth step is finding your support network. There are people in your life that believe in you even when you don’t. This is a very important step. Usually with a rebellious teenager, this is one of the hardest steps. The problem they find here is listening to constructive criticism. Find those people that love and adore you, and ask them what they see in you. Ask them to help you see yourself through their eyes. What positive input can they give you? If you are like me, I make lists, so I can go back and review them. Remember, you are asking them for their honest opinion, so be open to the answers you will receive.

The fifth step would be to begin displaying outwardly who you want to be. Try your best to be polite. Show the people around you that you do in fact wish to earn their respect. Demanding respect is not a lady-like quality. It may take some getting used to, and that is perfectly okay. Take your time getting to know who you are, what you want to do, and who you want to become.

I can tell you, as a young teenager, I didn’t want to be a lady. When I thought of a lady, I thought of a snobby-type woman with expensive clothing, and someone who didn’t want to break a nail. I grew up as more of a tom-boy, and I didn’t want the boys to think I needed them for anything, period. When a guy would ask to carry my books in school, my response was, “I have arms.” I didn’t want to be a girl who needed a man to carry her around. I wanted to be strong and independent.

Now that I am older, I look back at all of those thoughts and laugh. The guy wanting to carry my books wasn’t trying to tell me I was weak and helpless, he was trying to show me respect and gain my attention. Boy, did I screw that one up. I also realize now that most of the time, those snobby women with expensive clothes and perfect nails, aren’t really ladies at all. That isn’t my description of a person I would like to be similar to, what about you?

Being a lady is not about being weak, or interdependent on others. To me, a lady is many things wrapped into one. She is kind, caring, considerate, and respectful of others. She is confident in herself, respectful of whom she is, shows pride in herself, and openly displays an attitude of love.  She is accepting of others decisions, and beliefs, and does not concern herself with making others believe what she does. She is self-sufficient but able to ask others for assistance, or include others while working on a task. There are many other items I can add to this list, but I wanted to share a few.

So, to recap, the important steps in becoming a lady are: Believe in yourself, Respect who you are, analyze why you respect others, Find your support network, and lastly, begin your transformation.

It may seem like becoming a lady is changing who you are. It’s not about changing you; it’s about enhancing those wonderful aspects of yourself to become the lady you wish to be. It’s about finding the real you that is hidden under many layers of disappointment, heart-ache, and disrespect.

Once you find the lady within you, you won’t want to let her go. She is the part of you that places all of your best qualities on the front line. She is the part of you that gets you through the heart-ache, disappointments, and harsh words others say. Find her, and you will benefit greatly.

Of course, if you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me or leave a comment. I would love to assist you in your quest.


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